Enough already; it's time for me to start driving. That's the thought that recently went through my head as I waited for the bus in Miami. I was running late, but low on cash. With no cash machines in sight and only $1.50 on me, I opted for a frugal bus ride. (No quick, but expensive taxi ride for me!) Unfortunately, the bus was late and I was late for an appointment.
Waiting for the bus, I looked and hoped for friends in cars and I stared at other drivers with outright envy! My destination was so close; yet so far.
And I thought about a quote from Black Girl in Paris, a novel by Shay Youngblood.
"You can't stop living your life. Everybody is scared, but you can't let fear rule your life."
--Black Girl in Paris, a novel by Shay Youngblood. page 45
Clearly, I've let fear rule my life for too long. I arrived for my 11:00 appointment at 11:20. Not good!
Meanwhile, this August 2003 report from the BBC is also helpful:
"Driving on motorways causes millions of people to panic, research suggests.
As many as one-third of drivers admit to being anxious while using motorways, with older and younger women said to be the most affected.
Around 12% of 1,078 motorists surveyed by the RAC Foundation said they went out of their way to avoid motorways.
Symptoms of "motorway anxiety disorder" include increased heart rate and raised blood pressure, making people more prone to mistakes, the foundation said.
Other symptoms are excessive sweating, tension, headaches, stomach cramps and digestive problems.
Self-fulfilling prophecy
The most anxious 12% experienced anxiety levels more significant than if they were attending a job interview, visiting the dentist or going on a first date.
Professional male drivers between 28-55 tended to experience the lowest levels of motorway anxiety disorder, the foundation said.
Nervous drivers are more likely to make mistakes such as leaving the indicator on, driving at excessively low or fast speeds, staying in low gears and driving to close to the car in front.
Sarah Forrow, campaigns manager of the RAC Foundation, described the anxiety levels as worrying.
She said: "For many nervous drivers who venture onto the motorway there is a high risk of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
"They drive in an indecisive way which reinforces their fears, annoys other drivers, and can increase the risk of accidents on the motorway.
"We would urge anxious drivers to drive with a calm passenger, leave plenty of space between their vehicle and other vehicles, and practise their driving regularly."
Calming music
Conrad King, psychologist for the RAC Foundation, said for people to experience anxiety on the motorway was "quite natural and understandable"
He said: "This anxiety becomes a problem when drivers fail to get enough practice on the motorways, and so don't ever fully eliminate their fears.
"Some drivers build up their fears so much that they create new completely irrational fears which serve to reinforce their original anxiety."
He added anxiety can be managed through appropriate post-test driver training, regular driving practice, breathing exercises and listening to calming music."
Friday, November 25, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Cab Driver Prays for Safety
Okay, so my last cab ride gave me a lot to think about.
As usual, I was running late for the journalism class that I teach daily. No time for a frugal choice of public transportation. (Bus ride: $1.50; cab ride with generous tip: $8)
So, to make the cab ride seem less wasteful, I interviewed my cab driver, Monise from Haiti. She gave me hope and she scared me, A LOT! I've hit a major setback in the phobia lane.
Fearful Me: "What's your number #1 driving tip.
Driver: (She laughs!!! Every driver, I've interviewed laughs when I ask this question.)
Me: No really. What's your secret?
Driver: "My secret is God. I count on God because otherwise, I can't do this job."
Me: Oh Really.
Driver: It's a very dangerous job, but when you pray to God, you have power.
Me: Hmmm....
Driver: A lot of accidents could happen. A lot of people drive crazy. For five years, I've been driving a cab. I go out every day and I'm still alive and I say: Thank God.
So....My (already) strong faith in God is renewed, but I have less faith in other drivers.
Still...I plan to look for that driving manual...oneday....soon...
As usual, I was running late for the journalism class that I teach daily. No time for a frugal choice of public transportation. (Bus ride: $1.50; cab ride with generous tip: $8)
So, to make the cab ride seem less wasteful, I interviewed my cab driver, Monise from Haiti. She gave me hope and she scared me, A LOT! I've hit a major setback in the phobia lane.
Fearful Me: "What's your number #1 driving tip.
Driver: (She laughs!!! Every driver, I've interviewed laughs when I ask this question.)
Me: No really. What's your secret?
Driver: "My secret is God. I count on God because otherwise, I can't do this job."
Me: Oh Really.
Driver: It's a very dangerous job, but when you pray to God, you have power.
Me: Hmmm....
Driver: A lot of accidents could happen. A lot of people drive crazy. For five years, I've been driving a cab. I go out every day and I'm still alive and I say: Thank God.
So....My (already) strong faith in God is renewed, but I have less faith in other drivers.
Still...I plan to look for that driving manual...oneday....soon...
Monday, November 21, 2005
Little Woman; Big Bus
While traveling to my kids' school, I chatted with the bus driver. She was a little woman, driving a big bus. I had to ask
Me: What's your number #1 driving tip?
Bus Driver: (She stares at me. She's stunned. Then she looks at me with a DUH-expression on her face) Experience!!
She utters that one-word tip with visible pride: Experience!!
With a look of satisfaction, she opens the door at my stop. I exit with two regrets: 1) I didn't get her name and 2)I wished I had longer to chat with her.
But I left the bus feeling hopeful; maybe with enough experience, I can be a great driver. I don't want to drive a bus; I just want to drive my kids to school!
Meanwhile: The National Phobia Society in the UK offers this insight about:
DRIVING PHOBIA
"There are many different aspects to this phobia, which seems to be becoming more prevalent as roads get busier. Some people find it hard to cope with the speed of modern day road travel, others fear traffic jams and avoid situations when driving where they feel 'trapped' and unable to escape. What sufferers have in common is the fear of having a panic attack whilst driving and of losing control of themselves or their vehicle."
That's me totally!
Reading The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins gives me hope.
FYI I'm not paid for these plugs. I just want to share the wealth with other driving phobes.
I don't do the book justice. You can read excerpts at a website offered Amy Fine Collins: http://www.godofdriving.com. I tracked that down today.
I can't drive; but I can Google.
Me: What's your number #1 driving tip?
Bus Driver: (She stares at me. She's stunned. Then she looks at me with a DUH-expression on her face) Experience!!
She utters that one-word tip with visible pride: Experience!!
With a look of satisfaction, she opens the door at my stop. I exit with two regrets: 1) I didn't get her name and 2)I wished I had longer to chat with her.
But I left the bus feeling hopeful; maybe with enough experience, I can be a great driver. I don't want to drive a bus; I just want to drive my kids to school!
Meanwhile: The National Phobia Society in the UK offers this insight about:
DRIVING PHOBIA
"There are many different aspects to this phobia, which seems to be becoming more prevalent as roads get busier. Some people find it hard to cope with the speed of modern day road travel, others fear traffic jams and avoid situations when driving where they feel 'trapped' and unable to escape. What sufferers have in common is the fear of having a panic attack whilst driving and of losing control of themselves or their vehicle."
That's me totally!
Reading The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins gives me hope.
FYI I'm not paid for these plugs. I just want to share the wealth with other driving phobes.
I don't do the book justice. You can read excerpts at a website offered Amy Fine Collins: http://www.godofdriving.com. I tracked that down today.
I can't drive; but I can Google.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Balloons, Taxis and The God of Driving
On Friday, I was stuck at home without the wheels or the driving skills needed to deliver balloons for my daughter’s second-grade class play. A last-minute cancellation by a designated driver (flu struck my dear friend) left me scrambling for a ride, with no time to use my normal frugal choice of public transportation.
Well...with equal doses of style and cash, I delivered the balloons by way of taxi. The ride to the supermarket cost $11 with tip and the ride to the school from the supermarket cost $9 with tip. It was not the most frugal option available, but it was cheaper than operating or renting a car.
Plus, I didn’t waste the opportunity. I interviewed my taxi driver about his road skills. Sitting in the backseat, I wrote down the conversation word-for-word with Alex, the driver from Russia.
Me: "What’s your favorite driving advice?"
Alex, the driver: (Laughs. Then, a looong silence)
Me: "So, like, what’s your favorite driving advice?"
Alex: "My favorite customer goes from your building everyday to the Smith & Wollensky, the restaurant."
Me: "And your advice for drivers?"
Alex: (More Silence!!! He laughs and doesn’t say a word until we pull up to the supermarket.)
My conclusion: Focus (attention to the road) is the No. #1 Driving Tip from Alex, the taxi driver from Russia.
By the way, Attila, the maven instructor drives home that same point in The God of Driving, by Amy Fine Collins. It's a really fabulous book about letting go of fear and getting on the road. (FYI: I'm not paid for my endorsement. I just really, really like this book and this space is dedicated to finding cures for those who share my fear of driving.)
Maybe this week, I'll start studying for the written driving test.
P.S. The delighted faces of the kids when I arrived with the balloons made the trek and trouble seem so valuable. I felt like a superhero as I arrived with my tangle of 30 blue and white balloons. I was SuperMommy (the non-SUV model)!!!
That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).
Thanks for reading my blog!
Well...with equal doses of style and cash, I delivered the balloons by way of taxi. The ride to the supermarket cost $11 with tip and the ride to the school from the supermarket cost $9 with tip. It was not the most frugal option available, but it was cheaper than operating or renting a car.
Plus, I didn’t waste the opportunity. I interviewed my taxi driver about his road skills. Sitting in the backseat, I wrote down the conversation word-for-word with Alex, the driver from Russia.
Me: "What’s your favorite driving advice?"
Alex, the driver: (Laughs. Then, a looong silence)
Me: "So, like, what’s your favorite driving advice?"
Alex: "My favorite customer goes from your building everyday to the Smith & Wollensky, the restaurant."
Me: "And your advice for drivers?"
Alex: (More Silence!!! He laughs and doesn’t say a word until we pull up to the supermarket.)
My conclusion: Focus (attention to the road) is the No. #1 Driving Tip from Alex, the taxi driver from Russia.
By the way, Attila, the maven instructor drives home that same point in The God of Driving, by Amy Fine Collins. It's a really fabulous book about letting go of fear and getting on the road. (FYI: I'm not paid for my endorsement. I just really, really like this book and this space is dedicated to finding cures for those who share my fear of driving.)
Maybe this week, I'll start studying for the written driving test.
P.S. The delighted faces of the kids when I arrived with the balloons made the trek and trouble seem so valuable. I felt like a superhero as I arrived with my tangle of 30 blue and white balloons. I was SuperMommy (the non-SUV model)!!!
That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).
Thanks for reading my blog!
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Trapped at Home!
I’ve already blogged in today, (see Attila Says entry), but …
You know, sometimes, it’s downright depressing. Of course, I usually wear my inability to drive like a pretty bracelet. Like a cute trinket, it’s a conversation piece. But today, my inability to drive feels like a handcuff.
It’s like Martha Stewart’s ankle-monitoring-after-jail-home arrest-not-fair-leave-her-alone ankle-thing. I’m depressed (oh so briefly) about my fear of driving. I am so over myself.
Here’s the scenario:
1) I have to pickup balloons for my daughter’s class play.
2) Balloons are about 4 miles from my home, but NOT on my usual bus route.
3) I had a ride, but my designated driver just called. She has an ugly stomach bug. She spared me the details; I’ll spare you.
4) I am now scrambling for transportation. My husband is at work and I can’t drive my computer to Publix to get the balloons
5) And I’m too embarrassed to tell the PTA room mother, (who is so sweet, so thoughtful and so capable) that I can’t deliver the balloons, (30!!! balloons) because I DON'T DRIVE. She drives an SUV! She drives carpools. I drive myself crazy.
Maybe, I’ll take my kids’ Razorblade scooter to the supermarket (great exercise) and then take a cab to the school to drop off the balloons. That’s why I’m reading:
You know, sometimes, it’s downright depressing. Of course, I usually wear my inability to drive like a pretty bracelet. Like a cute trinket, it’s a conversation piece. But today, my inability to drive feels like a handcuff.
It’s like Martha Stewart’s ankle-monitoring-after-jail-home arrest-not-fair-leave-her-alone ankle-thing. I’m depressed (oh so briefly) about my fear of driving. I am so over myself.
Here’s the scenario:
1) I have to pickup balloons for my daughter’s class play.
2) Balloons are about 4 miles from my home, but NOT on my usual bus route.
3) I had a ride, but my designated driver just called. She has an ugly stomach bug. She spared me the details; I’ll spare you.
4) I am now scrambling for transportation. My husband is at work and I can’t drive my computer to Publix to get the balloons
5) And I’m too embarrassed to tell the PTA room mother, (who is so sweet, so thoughtful and so capable) that I can’t deliver the balloons, (30!!! balloons) because I DON'T DRIVE. She drives an SUV! She drives carpools. I drive myself crazy.
Maybe, I’ll take my kids’ Razorblade scooter to the supermarket (great exercise) and then take a cab to the school to drop off the balloons. That’s why I’m reading:
Attila Says and Other Driving Tips
Driving tips from Professionals
“Always watch out for the other drivers. Never assume anything about anyone. Don’t assume the other drivers see you.”
Robert, a Miami-Dade Transit Bus Driver. On Wednesday, November 16, 2005, Robert offered me that wisdom about driving:
Meanwhile, here are other bits of advice from Attila, the maven driving instructor featured in The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins.
ATTILA SAYS:
1. “The average car has twelve blind spots.”
2. About the head restraint: “If it’s not in the right position, you can injure your neck if you’re rear-ended. Make sure it’s at ear level—neither too high or too low.”
3. Hands on the steering wheel: “They should be at nine’o clock and three o’clock.”
Attila says and (my paraphrase): For cars w/o airbags, it’s best to leave your hands at two o’clock and ten o’clock …But:
“…if G-d forbid, an airbag is deployed, [the 2:00/10:00 hand position] could send your knuckles flying into your face at over 200 miles per hour.”
Hey Attila: Where ever you are, thanks for the advice!
And Amy: Thanks for bringing him (and your phobias) to the page
Avi: Thanks for getting the book.
That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).
Thanks for reading my blog!
“Always watch out for the other drivers. Never assume anything about anyone. Don’t assume the other drivers see you.”
Robert, a Miami-Dade Transit Bus Driver. On Wednesday, November 16, 2005, Robert offered me that wisdom about driving:
Meanwhile, here are other bits of advice from Attila, the maven driving instructor featured in The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins.
ATTILA SAYS:
1. “The average car has twelve blind spots.”
2. About the head restraint: “If it’s not in the right position, you can injure your neck if you’re rear-ended. Make sure it’s at ear level—neither too high or too low.”
3. Hands on the steering wheel: “They should be at nine’o clock and three o’clock.”
Attila says and (my paraphrase): For cars w/o airbags, it’s best to leave your hands at two o’clock and ten o’clock …But:
“…if G-d forbid, an airbag is deployed, [the 2:00/10:00 hand position] could send your knuckles flying into your face at over 200 miles per hour.”
Hey Attila: Where ever you are, thanks for the advice!
And Amy: Thanks for bringing him (and your phobias) to the page
Avi: Thanks for getting the book.
That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).
Thanks for reading my blog!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
5 Reasons to Read The God of Driving
Okay, okay: I'm not so crazy about the title of the book, but everything else rings true for me.
Here are 5 Reasons Why I Connected with: The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins
5. As a fashion/celebrity writer Amy Fine Collins had a closet full of designer clothes: "All custom-made by Geoffrey Beane."
She donated one entire wardrobe to the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum in New York. As a reader, I had so much fun watching her pick out suitable outfits for her driving lessons.
4. As a New Yorker, she never drove herself to work.
As a former New Yorker, I totally relate. In New York, I walked or rode the subway/bus to my former workplace in Midtown Manhattan at Institutional Investor Newsletters! [Hey, Tom and Kathy Lamont!] I loved public transportation, taxis and limos.
Now, I even ride buses in Miami, where many people think bus riders are weird, desperate, destitute or all of the above.
I just don't understand the American love affair with cars. Hello! Public transportation saves gas & money. Plus, you can read (safely) while riding the bus. And I'm thin because I walk a lot. Yes, I'm getting excessive. I'm taking deep breaths and I will stop ranting.
3. Collins delivers this great quote in the first chapter: "For my entire adult life, I had no use for automobiles and no ability to drive them."
Bravo!
2. Nondrivers will also feel the pain and shame of this confession from Collins: "My dependency on my husband, friends, colleagues and strangers evolved almost into an affectation...."
So true. But I think the folks in my universe are sooo over my helpless-little-me-non-driving attitude. They're like: Grow Up! Get a liscense and get on the road, girl!
1. Collins faces her fears. Basically, her wonderful driving instructor Attila taught her that a fear of driving can be connected to other fears and issues.
Driving, I've learned from Attila -- by way of Collins -- can be a metaphor for life. We all have blindspots. We all have speed bumps and we all meet our share of time-consuming detours.
So am I ready to drive yet? No. But I'm having fun reading & writing about it. And that's progress!
That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).
Here are 5 Reasons Why I Connected with: The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins
5. As a fashion/celebrity writer Amy Fine Collins had a closet full of designer clothes: "All custom-made by Geoffrey Beane."
She donated one entire wardrobe to the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum in New York. As a reader, I had so much fun watching her pick out suitable outfits for her driving lessons.
4. As a New Yorker, she never drove herself to work.
As a former New Yorker, I totally relate. In New York, I walked or rode the subway/bus to my former workplace in Midtown Manhattan at Institutional Investor Newsletters! [Hey, Tom and Kathy Lamont!] I loved public transportation, taxis and limos.
Now, I even ride buses in Miami, where many people think bus riders are weird, desperate, destitute or all of the above.
I just don't understand the American love affair with cars. Hello! Public transportation saves gas & money. Plus, you can read (safely) while riding the bus. And I'm thin because I walk a lot. Yes, I'm getting excessive. I'm taking deep breaths and I will stop ranting.
3. Collins delivers this great quote in the first chapter: "For my entire adult life, I had no use for automobiles and no ability to drive them."
Bravo!
2. Nondrivers will also feel the pain and shame of this confession from Collins: "My dependency on my husband, friends, colleagues and strangers evolved almost into an affectation...."
So true. But I think the folks in my universe are sooo over my helpless-little-me-non-driving attitude. They're like: Grow Up! Get a liscense and get on the road, girl!
1. Collins faces her fears. Basically, her wonderful driving instructor Attila taught her that a fear of driving can be connected to other fears and issues.
Driving, I've learned from Attila -- by way of Collins -- can be a metaphor for life. We all have blindspots. We all have speed bumps and we all meet our share of time-consuming detours.
So am I ready to drive yet? No. But I'm having fun reading & writing about it. And that's progress!
That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).
Monday, November 14, 2005
Welcome to Driving Phobia
This blog is dedicated to the Fear of Driving.
This blog is not a confessional rant about my inability to drive.
No!
This space is earmarked for tips, resources and other bits of data for those who are fearful of driving. Occasionally, I will provide updates on my own efforts to get a license.
I am currently reading: The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins, (Simon & Schuster). The subtitle: How I overcame fear and put myself in the driver's seat with the help of a good and mysterious man.
I am so loving this book and I feel a spark of hope. If Collins--a fashionable, writer for Vanity Fair magazine-- can learn to drive, maybe I can also.
My thoughtful husband Avi stumbled over a new copy of this book and (hint, hint) presented me with a copy. Thanks Avi! (Really!!!) The text is witty, engaging and informative. It's like taking a virtual defensive driving class, while getting a fashion lesson.
Over the course of this week, I will feature the book.
That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).
And I have a life beyond blogging. I am a freelance writer, teacher, mother, wife, (not in that order.)
I'm hoping that those titles will (G-d willing), include Sharon, the Great Driver.
Ciao.
This blog is not a confessional rant about my inability to drive.
No!
This space is earmarked for tips, resources and other bits of data for those who are fearful of driving. Occasionally, I will provide updates on my own efforts to get a license.
I am currently reading: The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins, (Simon & Schuster). The subtitle: How I overcame fear and put myself in the driver's seat with the help of a good and mysterious man.
I am so loving this book and I feel a spark of hope. If Collins--a fashionable, writer for Vanity Fair magazine-- can learn to drive, maybe I can also.
My thoughtful husband Avi stumbled over a new copy of this book and (hint, hint) presented me with a copy. Thanks Avi! (Really!!!) The text is witty, engaging and informative. It's like taking a virtual defensive driving class, while getting a fashion lesson.
Over the course of this week, I will feature the book.
That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).
And I have a life beyond blogging. I am a freelance writer, teacher, mother, wife, (not in that order.)
I'm hoping that those titles will (G-d willing), include Sharon, the Great Driver.
Ciao.
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