Driving Phobia

Incentive: Magazine Article! Can I Drive for Dollars?

2006-10-09T16:11:00.000-04:00

Okay, okay. I know it: I've been such a slacker about learning to drive.
I use any excuse to delay my movement behind a steering wheel.

Well now, I have good reason to let go of the mental brakes. A magazine editor has contacted me about my driving phobia. I can either write a feature or be profiled. The hitch: first I have to get a license!!!

secret whine: Why can't I just write about being phobic? Permantely Parked!!! Now that's a headline!

Seriously, I've wanted to write an article about my driving fears for some time.
But can I do it? Can I make myself drive for the lure of headlines, money & glossy pages?

Will vanity win out over fear? Will ego outrace crippling phobias...

Stay tuned. I have no idea. I'm clueless for now.

Poof: Driving Teacher Just Shows Up!

2006-08-11T00:56:00.000-04:00

Okay this is scary.

I have finally, finally decided to really be serious about driving and within 24 hours, I have met a highly recommended Driving Ed instructor.

Here's the scenario:

I'm at my kids' school and I meet another mom. I casually mention that I don't drive. She looks mildy appalled; milding amused.

To save face, I mention my summer goal: TO DRIVE!

She says: Oh wow and there's even a driving school car parked in the parking lot TODAY.

It turns out that one of the part-time maintenance crew members also owns a driving school. He comes highly recommended by the maintenance chief at my kids' school.

We talk and he even offers to help me with my written test.

We have an appointment for Tuesday at 3:30 pm

Is that spooky or am I just reading too much into the universal mind?

Hire a Tutor for the Written Test?

2006-08-08T18:28:00.000-04:00

I am so intimidated by the written driving test.

Here's my new plan: I'll book an hour lesson with a driving school. Not to drive, (AS IF!!!) but to learn the written stuff.

Is this just another attempt to delay my efforts to really drive? Or am I just revving up the nerve to finally conquer my fears?

I will call a driving school tonight.

I hope it won't cost a fortune for a written test tutor.

I Googled the Florida Drivers Info

2006-08-07T23:43:00.000-04:00

Okay. Don't be shocked. I actually did something today towards my goal of getting a licence.

I googled for information and found the website for the Florida Department of Highway Safety & Motor Vehicles.

I reached a helpful site called Obtaining Your Florida
Driver License or Identification Card

I learned two things. It helps to already have a license when you are applying for a new license.

ID is required, preferably a drivers license.

I need 2 forms of ID to start the process. I'll use a passport and a voter's registration card or a marriage license.

Well, let's hope that my driving skills will match my research skills.

Ciao.

Driving Goals for the Week

2006-08-06T12:43:00.000-04:00

I'm a very driven person. I just don't drive.

But I think I will start driving if I set concrete goals....public goals with accountability.

Therefore: My goals for this week:

1) Start a personal driving journal...(a part from my driving blog)
2) Locate, download or order a driving manual for the test.
3) Contact a driving school.
4) Schedule a written test for drivers permit.
5) Begin studying for test.
6) Write at least two blogs entries about driving
7) Pitch an editor a magazine story about my efforts to finally drive. Rationale: with a deadline, I might be motivated to drive. Professional embarrassment is a mighty tool.

Okay....I'm off. I have my greenlight.

My New Push to Drive

2006-08-04T16:44:00.000-04:00

I'm starting a new push to drive.
My goal for next week: I must start studying for my driver's test.
I'll spend the weekend looking online for information.
Wish me luck

Support Group for Fearful Drivers?

2006-01-03T13:19:00.000-05:00

Happy 2006!!

Is learning to drive or improving your driving skills at the top of your 2006 New Year's Resolutions? This blog is dedicated to those with a fear of driving.

I recently received this note from a thoughtful reader:

I have a tremendous fear of driving," she wrote. "This seems to run in my dad's family. In my case, I think it is linked to my ADD."

"Do you know," she asked, "if there is a group online dealing with this subject?"

More comments from the reader:

"I think in my case," she wrote. "I have problems with the following: 1)TERRIFIED of high speed driving (feel less in control) 2) have problems in processing all the different stimuli and get over-stimulated with too many different 'inputs' and 3)have trouble integrating many different tasks, eg. changing lanes, watching the blind spt, keeping the steering on track etc."

Thanks for writing!
******
If you have any information about support groups for fearful drivers or information about ADD and driving, please send me an email or leave a comment on my blog.

Happy New Calendar Year!!!

Car Envy and the Phobic Driver

2005-11-25T15:47:00.000-05:00

Enough already; it's time for me to start driving. That's the thought that recently went through my head as I waited for the bus in Miami. I was running late, but low on cash. With no cash machines in sight and only $1.50 on me, I opted for a frugal bus ride. (No quick, but expensive taxi ride for me!) Unfortunately, the bus was late and I was late for an appointment.

Waiting for the bus, I looked and hoped for friends in cars and I stared at other drivers with outright envy! My destination was so close; yet so far.

And I thought about a quote from Black Girl in Paris, a novel by Shay Youngblood.

"You can't stop living your life. Everybody is scared, but you can't let fear rule your life."

--Black Girl in Paris, a novel by Shay Youngblood. page 45

Clearly, I've let fear rule my life for too long. I arrived for my 11:00 appointment at 11:20. Not good!

Meanwhile, this August 2003 report from the BBC is also helpful:

"Driving on motorways causes millions of people to panic, research suggests.
As many as one-third of drivers admit to being anxious while using motorways, with older and younger women said to be the most affected.

Around 12% of 1,078 motorists surveyed by the RAC Foundation said they went out of their way to avoid motorways.

Symptoms of "motorway anxiety disorder" include increased heart rate and raised blood pressure, making people more prone to mistakes, the foundation said.

Other symptoms are excessive sweating, tension, headaches, stomach cramps and digestive problems.

Self-fulfilling prophecy

The most anxious 12% experienced anxiety levels more significant than if they were attending a job interview, visiting the dentist or going on a first date.

Professional male drivers between 28-55 tended to experience the lowest levels of motorway anxiety disorder, the foundation said.

Nervous drivers are more likely to make mistakes such as leaving the indicator on, driving at excessively low or fast speeds, staying in low gears and driving to close to the car in front.

Sarah Forrow, campaigns manager of the RAC Foundation, described the anxiety levels as worrying.

She said: "For many nervous drivers who venture onto the motorway there is a high risk of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"They drive in an indecisive way which reinforces their fears, annoys other drivers, and can increase the risk of accidents on the motorway.

"We would urge anxious drivers to drive with a calm passenger, leave plenty of space between their vehicle and other vehicles, and practise their driving regularly."

Calming music

Conrad King, psychologist for the RAC Foundation, said for people to experience anxiety on the motorway was "quite natural and understandable"

He said: "This anxiety becomes a problem when drivers fail to get enough practice on the motorways, and so don't ever fully eliminate their fears.

"Some drivers build up their fears so much that they create new completely irrational fears which serve to reinforce their original anxiety."

He added anxiety can be managed through appropriate post-test driver training, regular driving practice, breathing exercises and listening to calming music."

Cab Driver Prays for Safety

2005-11-22T18:10:00.000-05:00

Okay, so my last cab ride gave me a lot to think about.

As usual, I was running late for the journalism class that I teach daily. No time for a frugal choice of public transportation. (Bus ride: $1.50; cab ride with generous tip: $8)

So, to make the cab ride seem less wasteful, I interviewed my cab driver, Monise from Haiti. She gave me hope and she scared me, A LOT! I've hit a major setback in the phobia lane.

Fearful Me: "What's your number #1 driving tip.
Driver: (She laughs!!! Every driver, I've interviewed laughs when I ask this question.)

Me: No really. What's your secret?
Driver: "My secret is God. I count on God because otherwise, I can't do this job."

Me: Oh Really.
Driver: It's a very dangerous job, but when you pray to God, you have power.

Me: Hmmm....
Driver: A lot of accidents could happen. A lot of people drive crazy. For five years, I've been driving a cab. I go out every day and I'm still alive and I say: Thank God.

So....My (already) strong faith in God is renewed, but I have less faith in other drivers.

Still...I plan to look for that driving manual...oneday....soon...

Little Woman; Big Bus

2005-11-21T19:54:00.000-05:00

While traveling to my kids' school, I chatted with the bus driver. She was a little woman, driving a big bus. I had to ask

Me: What's your number #1 driving tip?
Bus Driver: (She stares at me. She's stunned. Then she looks at me with a DUH-expression on her face) Experience!!

She utters that one-word tip with visible pride: Experience!!

With a look of satisfaction, she opens the door at my stop. I exit with two regrets: 1) I didn't get her name and 2)I wished I had longer to chat with her.

But I left the bus feeling hopeful; maybe with enough experience, I can be a great driver. I don't want to drive a bus; I just want to drive my kids to school!

Meanwhile: The National Phobia Society in the UK offers this insight about:

DRIVING PHOBIA

"There are many different aspects to this phobia, which seems to be becoming more prevalent as roads get busier. Some people find it hard to cope with the speed of modern day road travel, others fear traffic jams and avoid situations when driving where they feel 'trapped' and unable to escape. What sufferers have in common is the fear of having a panic attack whilst driving and of losing control of themselves or their vehicle."

That's me totally!

Reading The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins gives me hope.

FYI I'm not paid for these plugs. I just want to share the wealth with other driving phobes.

I don't do the book justice. You can read excerpts at a website offered Amy Fine Collins: http://www.godofdriving.com. I tracked that down today.

I can't drive; but I can Google.

Balloons, Taxis and The God of Driving

2005-11-20T10:05:00.000-05:00

On Friday, I was stuck at home without the wheels or the driving skills needed to deliver balloons for my daughter’s second-grade class play. A last-minute cancellation by a designated driver (flu struck my dear friend) left me scrambling for a ride, with no time to use my normal frugal choice of public transportation.

Well...with equal doses of style and cash, I delivered the balloons by way of taxi. The ride to the supermarket cost $11 with tip and the ride to the school from the supermarket cost $9 with tip. It was not the most frugal option available, but it was cheaper than operating or renting a car.

Plus, I didn’t waste the opportunity. I interviewed my taxi driver about his road skills. Sitting in the backseat, I wrote down the conversation word-for-word with Alex, the driver from Russia.

Me: "What’s your favorite driving advice?"
Alex, the driver: (Laughs. Then, a looong silence)

Me: "So, like, what’s your favorite driving advice?"
Alex: "My favorite customer goes from your building everyday to the Smith & Wollensky, the restaurant."

Me: "And your advice for drivers?"
Alex: (More Silence!!! He laughs and doesn’t say a word until we pull up to the supermarket.)

My conclusion: Focus (attention to the road) is the No. #1 Driving Tip from Alex, the taxi driver from Russia.

By the way, Attila, the maven instructor drives home that same point in The God of Driving, by Amy Fine Collins. It's a really fabulous book about letting go of fear and getting on the road. (FYI: I'm not paid for my endorsement. I just really, really like this book and this space is dedicated to finding cures for those who share my fear of driving.)

Maybe this week, I'll start studying for the written driving test.

P.S. The delighted faces of the kids when I arrived with the balloons made the trek and trouble seem so valuable. I felt like a superhero as I arrived with my tangle of 30 blue and white balloons. I was SuperMommy (the non-SUV model)!!!

That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).

Thanks for reading my blog!

Trapped at Home!

2005-11-17T11:56:00.000-05:00

I’ve already blogged in today, (see Attila Says entry), but …

You know, sometimes, it’s downright depressing. Of course, I usually wear my inability to drive like a pretty bracelet. Like a cute trinket, it’s a conversation piece. But today, my inability to drive feels like a handcuff.

It’s like Martha Stewart’s ankle-monitoring-after-jail-home arrest-not-fair-leave-her-alone ankle-thing. I’m depressed (oh so briefly) about my fear of driving. I am so over myself.

Here’s the scenario:
1) I have to pickup balloons for my daughter’s class play.

2) Balloons are about 4 miles from my home, but NOT on my usual bus route.

3) I had a ride, but my designated driver just called. She has an ugly stomach bug. She spared me the details; I’ll spare you.

4) I am now scrambling for transportation. My husband is at work and I can’t drive my computer to Publix to get the balloons

5) And I’m too embarrassed to tell the PTA room mother, (who is so sweet, so thoughtful and so capable) that I can’t deliver the balloons, (30!!! balloons) because I DON'T DRIVE. She drives an SUV! She drives carpools. I drive myself crazy.

Maybe, I’ll take my kids’ Razorblade scooter to the supermarket (great exercise) and then take a cab to the school to drop off the balloons. That’s why I’m reading:

Attila Says and Other Driving Tips

2005-11-17T11:13:00.000-05:00

Driving tips from Professionals

“Always watch out for the other drivers. Never assume anything about anyone. Don’t assume the other drivers see you.”

Robert, a Miami-Dade Transit Bus Driver. On Wednesday, November 16, 2005, Robert offered me that wisdom about driving:

Meanwhile, here are other bits of advice from Attila, the maven driving instructor featured in The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins.

ATTILA SAYS:

1. “The average car has twelve blind spots.”

2. About the head restraint: “If it’s not in the right position, you can injure your neck if you’re rear-ended. Make sure it’s at ear level—neither too high or too low.”

3. Hands on the steering wheel: “They should be at nine’o clock and three o’clock.”

Attila says and (my paraphrase): For cars w/o airbags, it’s best to leave your hands at two o’clock and ten o’clock …But:

“…if G-d forbid, an airbag is deployed, [the 2:00/10:00 hand position] could send your knuckles flying into your face at over 200 miles per hour.”

Hey Attila: Where ever you are, thanks for the advice!
And Amy: Thanks for bringing him (and your phobias) to the page
Avi: Thanks for getting the book.

That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).

Thanks for reading my blog!

5 Reasons to Read The God of Driving

2005-11-15T22:36:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay: I'm not so crazy about the title of the book, but everything else rings true for me.

Here are 5 Reasons Why I Connected with: The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins

5. As a fashion/celebrity writer Amy Fine Collins had a closet full of designer clothes: "All custom-made by Geoffrey Beane."

She donated one entire wardrobe to the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum in New York. As a reader, I had so much fun watching her pick out suitable outfits for her driving lessons.

4. As a New Yorker, she never drove herself to work.

As a former New Yorker, I totally relate. In New York, I walked or rode the subway/bus to my former workplace in Midtown Manhattan at Institutional Investor Newsletters! [Hey, Tom and Kathy Lamont!] I loved public transportation, taxis and limos.

Now, I even ride buses in Miami, where many people think bus riders are weird, desperate, destitute or all of the above.

I just don't understand the American love affair with cars. Hello! Public transportation saves gas & money. Plus, you can read (safely) while riding the bus. And I'm thin because I walk a lot. Yes, I'm getting excessive. I'm taking deep breaths and I will stop ranting.

3. Collins delivers this great quote in the first chapter: "For my entire adult life, I had no use for automobiles and no ability to drive them."

Bravo!

2. Nondrivers will also feel the pain and shame of this confession from Collins: "My dependency on my husband, friends, colleagues and strangers evolved almost into an affectation...."

So true. But I think the folks in my universe are sooo over my helpless-little-me-non-driving attitude. They're like: Grow Up! Get a liscense and get on the road, girl!

1. Collins faces her fears. Basically, her wonderful driving instructor Attila taught her that a fear of driving can be connected to other fears and issues.

Driving, I've learned from Attila -- by way of Collins -- can be a metaphor for life. We all have blindspots. We all have speed bumps and we all meet our share of time-consuming detours.

So am I ready to drive yet? No. But I'm having fun reading & writing about it. And that's progress!

That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).

Welcome to Driving Phobia

2005-11-14T11:55:00.000-05:00

This blog is dedicated to the Fear of Driving.

This blog is not a confessional rant about my inability to drive.

No!

This space is earmarked for tips, resources and other bits of data for those who are fearful of driving. Occasionally, I will provide updates on my own efforts to get a license.

I am currently reading: The God of Driving by Amy Fine Collins, (Simon & Schuster). The subtitle: How I overcame fear and put myself in the driver's seat with the help of a good and mysterious man.

I am so loving this book and I feel a spark of hope. If Collins--a fashionable, writer for Vanity Fair magazine-- can learn to drive, maybe I can also.

My thoughtful husband Avi stumbled over a new copy of this book and (hint, hint) presented me with a copy. Thanks Avi! (Really!!!) The text is witty, engaging and informative. It's like taking a virtual defensive driving class, while getting a fashion lesson.

Over the course of this week, I will feature the book.

That's enough for now. I have two other blogs to maintain: The Frugal Duchess (www.sharonhr.blogspot.com) and Homeless in Miami (www.homelessmiami.blogspot.com).

And I have a life beyond blogging. I am a freelance writer, teacher, mother, wife, (not in that order.)

I'm hoping that those titles will (G-d willing), include Sharon, the Great Driver.

Ciao.